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Transition After High School

Advice for Sending Your Kid Off to the Next Step

Senior Sendoff Presentation Spring 2024


Topics for Conversations & Recommended Tasks

  1. Communication plan for students who will not be living at home. Aim for a balance between keeping in touch and allowing students to have freedom to establish a new core network. What does each party expect?
  2. Time and freedom. Ask questions to prompt your student’s strategies for dealing with greater independence: Will you use a calendar? Where will you study? Together, figure out how much $ each class costs and have a ballpark for how much $ is wasted for each hour of class missed.
  3. Privacy. Student academic and health records are not open to parents. Discuss expectations. Parents who are helping pay for school may expect to have passwords and access to online grading systems, and families should consider preparing legal documents. (See: Will you be able to help your college-age child in a medical emergency? Consumer Reports 8.2018 and If your Kid is 18 You Need These Documents Investopedia 2.2021 or Documents You Need When a Child Turns 18 Wall Street Journal, 11.2017.) Either consult your attorney or a reputable site like Mama Bear Legal Forms.
  4. Sex, drugs, and alcohol. Students will be confronted with all sorts of situations. Discuss safe participation, limits, realities of binge drinking and sexual assault, consent, campus resources, and alternative ways to have fun.
  5. Money. Who provides spending money? How will your student pay for things? Figure what kind of card: debit/ prepaid credit/ regular credit. Monthly budget? Are there ATM / bank branches close to campus that are in your network? It may or may not make a difference since most students bank online and use tools like Venmo.
  6. Fitting in and finding friends. How does one create a core of friends and support? (Get involved in clubs, intramural sports, or other organizations!) How to deal with homesickness?
  7. Mental health. Please see article below (the Tough Pre-College Talk). There are many stresses and expectations in young adulthood, and unfortunately many mental health conditions emerge in these years. Even if you don't think your child is at risk, nearly all young adults will know someone who is struggling. 
  8. Together, check your student’s credit report.
  9. Identify the nearest urgent care facility.
  10. Set up local emergency contacts.
  11. See if your student’s institution has an emergency alert system that you can opt into.
  12. Have your student set up summer appointments for a dental cleaning, an eye exam, and a routine physical. Perhaps it is time for your student to graduate from the pediatrician.
  13. Consider whether the student needs vaccinations. Some institutions will require up to date Covid vaccination, and some may recommend a Meningitis B vaccination.
  14. Consider the implications of HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) and FERPA (Family Educational Rights & Privacy Act) privacy laws and, if you choose, set up four legal documents in case of a crisis:
    1. Health Care Power of Attorney so that parent/ guardians can help make health-related decisions;
    2. HIPAA Authorization so that providers will share health information with parent/ guardians;
    3. Financial Power of Attorney so that you parent/ guardians can manage finances;
    4. Education Record Release so that parent/ guardians will receive educational notices, including but not exclusively related to grades or financial aid. Institutions may have their own HIPAA and FERPA-related waivers; inquire and fill out.
    5. Consult your attorney regarding preparation for the above, and if you use a website, be sure it is reputable. Many experts find Mama Bear Legal Forms reliable.  

When There are Difficulties

Dr. Houston Dougharty, Former VP for Student Affairs at Grinnell College, has the following advice for parents when their students call home in distress. Often, the kids simply need to get their anxieties out. Help by asking:

1. How does that make you feel?
2. What can you do about it?
3. Who there can help you with that?

Parents may have to figure out if and when to get involved. In general, students should handle academic and employment matters themselves (professors do not appreciate calls from parents!), but serious health and safety considerations call for your involvement.


Visiting Your Student at College

Go to Parents’ Weekend. You may hear much more in person than you do via FaceTime, and you can assess your student’s health and situation. Since the priority should be time with your student, feel free to skip college- organized activities if you want a chance to just be together.

Other than designated holidays, discuss if and how often your student will come home or you will visit.

Articles & Resources

Practical/ Transition

How to Get the Most Out of College

A few highlights:  have a peer relationship (rather than a consumer relationship) with your college; seize leadership roles; build social capital; open yourself to new ideas & people; get to know faculty. The last one is a biggie:  having a mentor is the biggest predictor of college satisfaction. PDF

Practical Tips for Setting Up a New Living Space

This handout is all about logistics. What to pack (when in doubt, don't buy it), what to do ahead of time, how best to tackle move-in, and other tips to make the moving part go smoothly.

The tough pre-college talk I wish my parents had initiated

It isn't just packing lists and academic schedules. Students need to know a few things about mental health, and know that there are resources available on college campuses. PDF

How to Help a Teenager Be College Ready

Encourage students to step up personal responsibility well before college. NY Times 

Parenting a College Student (video)

Marshall Duke of Emory University has been offering excellent advice to parents for more than 25 years. View (or at least listen to) the entire lecture. I especially like his advice about college drop off. 

Legal/ Financial

Documents You Need When a Child Turns 18

Legal configurations change when a child turns 18. Have these documents in place before leaving home.

FERPA and Legal Documents Students Shouldn't Leave Home Without

Checklist of four documents to prepare and an explanation of each one. Particularly good on explaining FERPA. 

A Financial Checklist for Your Newly Minted High School Graduate

Do these tasks to set up for whatever the next step will be. Any young adult needs to know basics about budgeting, banking, mobile payments, and taxes. Also includes specialized tasks for those going to college and enlisting in the military. 


An Underappreciated Key to College Success: Sleep

Be intentional about prioritizing sleep at college. (Nap if necessary!)  NY Times 

Tea and Consent

Yep, video is about that important aspect of young adult life. More entertaining with a British accent. 

Before Heading to College, Make a Mental Health Checklist

All young adults, whether they have a history of difficulties or not, should be deliberate about prioritizing their mental health and knowing the resources available in their new environment. NY Times 2022. 

Will You Be Able to Help Your College-Age Child in a Medical Emergency?

Parents do not have have general access to their student's health records or decisions, which can be a problem if something happens. Consumer Reports outlines true scenarios and the ways to ensure that you can help 'just in case.' 

Meningitis Vaccine Information

Many colleges recommend that students are vaccinated for meningococcal disease. Read up and make your decision.